The holiday season is often described as "the most wonderful time of the year," but for many, it can also be a source of significant stress and anxiety (Gilbert & Abdullah, 2002). From the pressure to attend countless social events to the expectations of hosting perfect gatherings, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. At Grit Psychology, we understand that navigating this busy season while prioritizing your mental wellness can be challenging, but with the right strategies, it’s possible to find balance.
Recognizing the Sources of Holiday Anxiety
Holidays come with a variety of stressors that can impact mental health. Here are some common challenges people face:
1. Pressure to Drink Holiday parties and gatherings often center around alcohol, making it difficult for those who choose not to drink or those in recovery. Declining a drink can sometimes lead to feelings of judgment or the need to explain yourself.
2. Pressure to Be Social For those with social anxiety or introverted tendencies, the endless stream of holiday events can feel daunting. The expectation to show up with enthusiasm can exacerbate feelings of stress and exhaustion.
3. Pressure to Be Happy While Grieving The holidays can intensify feelings of loss, whether it’s missing a loved one who has passed away or coping with changes like divorce or estrangement. The expectation to appear cheerful can create an inner conflict.
4. Pressure to Be the Perfect Host Hosting holiday events comes with its own set of stressors, from preparing meals to creating a festive atmosphere. The desire to meet everyone’s expectations can lead to burnout.
Strategies to Manage Holiday Anxiety
While the pressures of the season can feel heavy, there are ways to protect your mental health:
1. Set Boundaries Around Alcohol If you’re uncomfortable drinking, it’s okay to politely decline. You can also bring your own non-alcoholic beverages or practice responses like, “I’m taking a break from alcohol for now.” Remember, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being.
2. Prioritize Quality Over Quantity in Social Events Instead of trying to attend every holiday event, choose the ones that matter most to you. Allow yourself to say no to invitations that feel like too much. For events you do attend, plan an “exit strategy” if you start to feel overwhelmed.
3. Acknowledge Your Grief If you’re grieving during the holidays, give yourself permission to feel your emotions rather than suppressing them. Create space for traditions that honor your loved one, such as lighting a candle or sharing a special memory. It’s also okay to let others know if you’re struggling and need support.
4. Simplify Hosting Responsibilities Hosting doesn’t have to mean doing everything yourself. Delegate tasks like cooking or decorating to friends or family members, and let go of the idea that everything has to be perfect. People will remember the time spent together more than the details.
Practicing Self-Care During the Holidays
In addition to addressing specific pressures, maintaining self-care is essential for managing holiday anxiety. Tilman (2024) offers some of the following suggestions:
1. Stick to a Routine While the holidays often disrupt regular schedules, try to maintain some consistency in your day. Prioritize regular sleep, balanced meals, and physical activity.
2. Schedule “Me Time” Amid the holiday hustle, carve out time to recharge. Whether it’s a quiet walk, journaling, or watching your favorite movie, these moments can help you stay grounded.
3. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, can help reduce stress. When holiday tasks feel overwhelming, pause and focus on the present moment.
4. Reach Out for Support If holiday anxiety feels unmanageable, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. Professional support can provide coping strategies tailored to your needs.
Reframing Holiday Expectations
Remember, the holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on what truly matters to you (Battino, 2006). Whether that means connecting with loved ones, taking time to reflect, or simply resting, honoring your own needs is the best gift you can give yourself this season.
Supporting Loved Ones During the Holidays
While taking care of your mental health is vital, the holidays can also be an opportunity to support others who may be struggling. Check-in on friends or family members who seem overwhelmed, lonely, or distant. A simple message or a thoughtful gesture can make a big difference. Encouraging an open dialogue about feelings and offering nonjudgmental support can help create a sense of connection and understanding.
For those grieving or facing tough circumstances, consider small acts of kindness, like helping with errands, offering to share a meal, or simply being present. Sometimes, it’s not about solving problems but about showing empathy and solidarity.
Planning for a Healthier Holiday Season
Proactively planning for the holidays can alleviate some of the associated stress (Tilman, 2024). Create a budget to avoid financial strain and stick to it. If you’re hosting, make a checklist to help organize tasks and set realistic expectations. If you know certain events or situations trigger anxiety, prepare strategies in advance for how you’ll handle them.
Additionally, consider what traditions or commitments genuinely bring you joy and which ones feel obligatory. It’s okay to let go of activities that no longer serve you or your well-being. This can create space for new traditions that align more closely with your values and current needs.
Finding Joy in the Small Moments
Amid the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to lose sight of the simple joys of the season. Take time to appreciate the small things, whether it’s the glow of holiday lights, the taste of a favorite treat, or a heartfelt conversation. Gratitude can be a powerful tool for shifting focus from stress to moments of contentment.
A Season for Self-Compassion
Above all, remember to be kind to yourself. The holidays can be emotionally demanding, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. Practice self-compassion by acknowledging your feelings without judgment and treating yourself with the same care you would offer a friend.
At Grit Psychology, we’re here to support you through the ups and downs of life, including the challenges of the holiday season. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out for guidance and care. Together, we can make this season one of balance, connection, and mental wellness.
References
Battino, R. (2006). Expectation: The very brief therapy book. Crown House Publishing.
Gilbert, D., & Abdullah, J. (2002). A study of the impact of the expectation of a holiday on an individual’s sense of well-being. Journal of Vacation Marketing, 8(4), 352-361. https://doi.org/10.1177/135676670200800406
Tilman, S. (2024). 18 Self-Care Ideas to Ease Holiday Stress Learn to Balance holiday stress with self-care to slow down and enjoy the season with less bother. Stress. https://www.signos.com/blog/holiday-stress